Learning that their parents are divorcing is difficult for any child. For children who were adopted when they were old enough to remember having to move around while they were in foster care, the divorce might bring up some very strong emotions.
It’s up to the parents to try to make the transition as easy as possible for their children. Working as a parenting team is one way to do this even when the romantic relationship ends. By presenting a united front as parents, you might be able to quell the fear that some adopted children have about suddenly losing the support of one of the adults they count on and love.
Consistency can help
Children, including adoptees, thrive on consistency. If possible, keep the same rules and boundaries that the child grew up with after your divorce. It might also help if you’re able to retain a good portion of their usual daily schedule.
Provide a safe space
Give them the ability to speak openly about their feelings. This doesn’t mean that you should allow disrespect. Instead, show them the productive and acceptable ways to discuss their emotions. It might be hard for them to relay those. Discussing your own feelings in an age-appropriate manner is often beneficial in these cases.
Any parent who’s going through a divorce should ensure they’re doing what’s best for the children. This includes children they adopted while they were still married. Make sure that you get a parenting plan in order as quickly as possible so that everyone can have the stability they need. Keep in mind that you can always revise a parenting plan in the future if it doesn’t continue to meet your family’s best interests.